"Te is különleges vagy mint mindenki más" = "You're special too just like everyone else" Knowledge is power. . . power corrupts. . . study hard. . . BE EVIL! Your talking is getting in the way of my telling you to shut up. 'Stress' A condition brought on by over riding the body's desire to kick someone's ass. All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter. Due to the worsening of the economy the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off. I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. I had a thought but it got lonely and went away. It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?" Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. A friend will bail you out of jail at two o'clock in the morning but a true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Damn that was fun!" . No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it? There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening. I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours. Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking. There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish? I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the hell did my ceiling go?! Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING? I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like? Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING. Angry woman = dead man Santa Claus is just a fat drunk guy in a red suit with fur…. Or possibly Michael Jackson… Or Orochimaru… ________________________________________ You know when you live in 2011 when... 1.) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending this to all your friends. 9.)You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and I know you did. ________________________________________ Work vs Prison IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle. IN PRISON... you get three meals a day. AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior. IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself. IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON... you get your own toilet. AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat. IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family. IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens. AT WORK... they are called managers. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC " Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me WEATHER "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me: ENVY "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me: ESP "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me: HUMOR "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22.My Mother taught me: Genetics "I swear you're just like your father." 23. My Mother taught me about my Roots "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My Mother taught me Wisdom "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me about Justice "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you ________________________________________ You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. ________________________________________ Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no? For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !) Death is hereditary. There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side. A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. ________________________________________ sometimes when i say" oh i'm fine." what i really want is for some one to LOOK me in the eyes and say" tell the truth." of course i'm talking to myself. who else can i trust? ________________________________________ Ways to annoy others on an elevator: 1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?" 2) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall without getting off. 3) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as you're embarassed when they open themselves. 4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) Meow occasionally. 6) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) Say -DING at each floor. 8) Say "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) Swat at flies that don't exist. 22) Call out "Group hug" then enforce it ________________________________________ Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. this is this cat this is is cat this is how cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is retard cat this is busy cat this is for cat this is forty cat this is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. ________________________________________ I don't care if you're gay or straight; everybody needs love. I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness; everybody deserves a chance. I don't care if you're ugly or pretty; everybody has flaws. I don't care if you're black or white; everybody has the same capabilities. I don't care if you're weird; everybody needs to change. I don't care if you're rich or poor; everybody needs warmth. I don't care if you're different; everybody is. ________________________________________ How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Do stairs go up or down? If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation? ________________________________________ ~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up. ~I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not. ~Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic. ~Guns don't kill people. People kill people. ~I know I just said 'Guns don't kill people. People kill people.' But I think that guns help! I mean, not much would happen if you just sit there and yell 'BOOM' ~You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder ~I used all my sick days so I called in dead. ~You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to. ~I talk to myself because mine are the only answers I accept! ~Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. ~The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Of, that red stuff leaking out of them?...That's cooking oil. ~Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes! ~An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work. ~Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss! ~Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. ~Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible? ~I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly. ~Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now. ~I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework. ~WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer! ~Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.~I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. ~I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless. ~Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door ~Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. ~You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor ~It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? ~Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. ~Music is love in search of word ~"Don't you wish you could have your cake and eat it too?" What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it? ~"Good! Good! Good! You're wrong, but you're wrong in an interesting way!" ~When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. ~I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. ~To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. ~If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? ~I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.