"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" "'Doooon't open the door. Because it won't be like that. There'll be a small grey, balding cat with diarrhea, sitting on a mattress-less iron-sprung bed, looking at you with it's big eyes, mewing at you - 'Meew' - smoking, too, probably. While an emphysimic old lady in the background rolls up her popsocks. And a terrible guy, the colour of an aubergine, wearing a string vest and holding a mug of beef-tea looks at you and says '*makes strange muttering, sucking noises*'. THAT'S your potential.'" "Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. "