Me: 'Do fish wee?' 'I didnt no Africa was a continent, i thought it was a country!' James: 'If someone does something gay with someone gay then thats just gay!' Me: 'How do Hedgehogs have sex, isnt it a bit spiky?' Me (to Fran): 'You're not a bitch, ur just strong willed!' James: 'all you need to have fun is some class A drugs and ginuea pigs' Clare: 'you can't give ginuea pigs drugs thats awful.' James:' no the drugs are for me, the ginuea pigs are companions.' Clare:' what would u do with the ginuea pigs?' Me: 'wine and dine them' James: 'just don't take them to a bonfire, you dont want to see your best friend go up in flames.' Fran to Asher (after a long conversation about how Asher sometimes goes to school on Saturdays): 'so do you go to school on Saturdays?' Me: 'I want to beat my cousin' James: 'what physically or facebookily?' Steff: 'I can't rape a baby i dont have a penis' Me: 'but if you did, you would?' Cos: 'I'm really scared' Me and Fran: 'Why?' Cos: 'Because my mum gave me odd socks' Mum: 'Jesus died on this day you know' Me: 'Really, i didnt even know he was ill' Zia Lorry (in reference to a little toy): 'shit, it is cute' Dan: 'Yeah they've got a glass roof' James: 'its like people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones but completely different.' Greg: 'You look smarf!' Everyone: 'Look a cat' Fran: 'Oh my god thats a mongoose!' Me: 'No, no im pretty sure thats a cat' 'the poisons in the ice!' mum: 'yeah those squirrels have been digging things up again, just the other day we found a dead pidgeon, must have been the foxes' me: 'either that or a really angry squirrel' Francesca: 'I'm scared' me: 'why' Francesca: 'because that guy is so ugly' Conversation on the phone: Mum: 'Could you ask your mum where the flask is?' Greg: 'Flaskis? Mum where's the flaskis?' Mum: 'It's the thing you put water in' Greg to his mum: 'It's the thing you put water in' Mum: 'Just let me talk to your mum' Greg: 'I'm sorry Zia but I'm in my pants I have to go.'