Your Mom. What the deuce?? "That's what she said." " I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection. " "In the beginning, we were all fish, okay, swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby. And the retard baby was different so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something, and made this retard-frog-squirrel and then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and that made you. So there you go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations." "I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em floories... or rapies." "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongdoing. It does not delight in evil, But rejoices in the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves. There is nothing love cannot face; There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: Faith, hope, and love; But the greatest of them all is love." - Corinthians 13:4-7 “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” "Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so." Famous like a drug that I've taken too much of. But I never ever trip, just peace, happiness, and love.