"John McCain likes to say that he will follow Bin Laden to the gates of hell, but he won't even follow him to the cave where he lives." -Barack Obama Mom: "Do you see why you shouldn't follow any useless boy around?" Me: "Can I follow a USEFUL boy?" Me: "Just tell him you're not ready, and I'll tell him I am." Nich: "Boy-stealer." Me: "I'm not stealing, I'm recycling." "You'll know you're in love when you can't sleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams." -Dr. Seuss "Excuse me, can you please remove your hat?" "I'm sorry, I can't, I have a hole in my head." "Come see me afterwards." Bad planning on your part does not necessarily constitute an automatic emergency on my part. "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." "I'm tired. Imma sit on the ice. *sits on ice* OW, this is freakin' cold!!" -Ahmed "It is easier to go down a mountain than up, but the view is always best from the top." "I have CDO. It's like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be." Sorrow comes for free. But for happiness, you must pay a price. Mocco: "There's no difference between your calf and your ankle. It goes straight down." Jordan: "I found the difference!" Summermatter: "No, Jordan, that's your sock." Life is a game. Don't let anyone else play it for you. Yuna: "All the boys are going down in height, and all the girls are going down in height in the opposite direction." Me: "So they're growing." Yuna: --pause--"Shut up." Tez: "Yea. Jasmyn was morbidly obese. She's like, the most mobese track runner- wait. Did I just say MOBESE?" Kayla: (talking about pedophiles) "They rape little boys now, have you heard?" Tez & I: (singing) "All I want for Christmas, is youuuu!" Kayla: "Guys, what's the occasion?" Tez and I: ...(silence)..."Christmas?" Joe: "If you mess with the crown, you'll have to go through me and any crimes I commit. Remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries. Including Puerto Rico." Evil Uncle: "I THINK YOU'LL FIND THE WORD FEAR IS NOT IN MY VOCABULARY!" Joe: "Perhaps, but it's in your eyes." "Your pants have flames on them. Why aren't you going faster!?!"-Steph Wu while watching the Luge event during Winter Olympics 2010 "The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep" -Robert Frost Absalom: "Nothing was ever accomplished by tears." The White Queen: "You cannot live your life to please others. The decision has to be yours. Because when you go out to fight that creature, you will go out alone." Mad Hatter: "Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" Sam: "My idea of bisexuality changes every day. Today, it's 'I'm straight with a girl fetish'". MY FAVORITE POEM: Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. -William Ernest Henley Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill: "You're right, Bessie. And you're ugly. But tomorrow morning, I'll be sober. And you'll still be ugly." "Everything in moderation. Including moderation." - Evan Goldstein “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” - Plato This is about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. "Can I have this jig?"- Oliver Everhard From Suite Life On Deck Marcus: "You know Kanye too?" Woody:"...chyea...We're cousins." -pause- "I'm Kanye East." All I do is win, I'm allergic to losing. "When in Rome, do as the Romanians do."- George W. Bush "When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because, in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for." "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." "People who say it cannot be done, should not interrupt those who are doing it."