Lindsey Lewis


Nigel: "My name's Kevin." *shakes and whimpers* Precious: "The other day, I cried. But you know what? Fuck that day. That's why God, or whoever, makes other days." Me: "This is the REAL fucking Bad Girls Club. You bitches are crazy." "I have HAD it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!" "If something is broken, hit it with a hammer. If that doesn't work, find a bigger hammer" Carl: *whimpers* "I smell your lotion..." Ian: "Give me a hug, bitch." Zach Staygayitis: Idk its just somthing about that cute little furry fuzzball that reminds me of Lindsey lewis, I wonder what shes doing right now. If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. - Christopher McCandless, Into the Wild Joe: "Jonas, can you sell the rest of my suckers? I figure you kind of owe me." Jonas: "For what?" Joe: "The Holocaust." Mr. Otto (comment on gradesheet): I appreciated the arthouse feel, but didn't quite have enough drugs to completely get it. Mr. Otto: Okay, next poem. *sees that it's us* Wait. Let me get the drugs. *opens file cabinet* Mr. Otto: "Is this gonna be one of those things where I run out of drugs before I understand it?" Taylor: I'm writing a book. It's about a guy. Who does stuff. Sheldon: "That part there, it's just a joke. It's a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer Approximation." *Because this list is getting terrifyingly long, I'm just going to say, "Anything said in the store." Me: What is an asymptote? Jake: Asymptote. Me: Asymptote. Jake: ASYM-TOTE. Me: A-SYM-TOTE. Me: "Did you just wink at me?" Taylor: "No, I was winking at your hooters." *awkward silence* Taylor: "You know, the ones around your neck? Hoothoot?" *I look down, & realize I am wearing an owl necklace.* Me (meekly): Use the BFG now? Me: "A COD is a fish, not a game!!!" Dave: "THE MONEY IS MADE OF MEAT!" The Holy Bible: Job 12: 8 Speak to the earth and she will teach thee (of patience, humility, forgiveness, universal nurturing) Genesis 1:29 - And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. Proverbs 12:10 The righteous one is concerned for his beast. (Bryan is trying to teach me Spanish) Me: "Am I saying it wrong?" Bryan: "YES!" Me: "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY SI!" Me: "Brittany, did you get that I was making fun of you?" Brittany: "BUT I'M NOT A MEXICAN!" (you'd have had to be there. it really wasn't a racist statement, just sounds like it lmfao) Miles: "I feel like I'm wearing a Jasmine!" Chase: "I got a 94!" Katy: "The mama bird, was tellin' me to fly." Me: "Your name should be Jonathon HARDCORE Thornberry. Or maybe HARDCOREberry." Jonathan C., on philosophy: "I don't blame you, when it's a machine, and you shaking your ass on a broken machine will not make it any more than a broken machine" Nick: "They can't even spell EKU." Devin: IT'S FREAKING KEVIN BACON! IT'S MANDATORY! Brittany: "I have a good idea." Lindsay: "Okay, what?" Brittany: "Let's not do a play about penises." -and just because he's sweet and something sweet needs to make the list.- Me: "I'll be hugging people a whole lot more now...sorry I'll be so annoying." Devin: "I'll just have to deal with it." *hug*

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