Natalia-Faith Parsons


"But sir, isn't religion demographic because some people are forced to follow a certain religion because they get like, whipped or something?" "Err, I've got that sick taste in my mouth" -spits- "Okay, I just like spat on my shoulder.." -pause- "Oh look! There's carrot in it!" "Look at that bloke pissing over there by the car" "Oi mate! Shake twice you're having a piss, shake three times and you're just playing with yourself!" "Hold up my dildo's going off againn" "I'm leaving for Uni in three FUCKING HOURS, YOU WANKSTAIN!" "Oh my DAYZZZ its like sitting in the kyle with Jeremy Kyle, shut up mother!!" "Honestly Vicky, I'm just the fucking walking Bridget fucking Jones, I'm gonna write a fucking BOOK" -face plants window- "Do you reckon its true what that lady said? If you've had over 21 boyfriends you'll never get married?" "Dunno" "Well isn't that another 19 for you then?" Rehab 09/09/2011 "You can't grow to be old and wise without having lived young and crazy" Rehab 09/09/2011 "You know you're too drunk when you're driving and you swerve to miss a tree and then you realise it's just your bloody air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror" "Yo, Alf, SIRR! Is your name Alfred, or Alfried?!" "... It's Alan?" -PAHAHAHAAAAA- "We want two Berry blasts please!" "Yah, we're pre-drinking the night before going town you seeeee" -chatter- "Guess who just got ditched" -silence- "RIGHT, let's get the pitchers in!!" "I'm starting to feel self-conscious about my car, they keep calling it a 'paki-car'." "I'ts not a nissan micra is it?" "Oh bless Chris, look, 15 year olds, here in the park. With a frisbee. And we're sat here with a bottle of wine like common trollops." "I'm a L-A-D-YY!" Little girl in the park on a zipwire- "HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" "She went to my school. She's good at that though, y'know, rapping." ".. She's good at looking like a bloke!" "Aude, why are we eating before going to a BBQ?" "I reckon we should get £100 together every month and give it to a tramp" "What? And see what he can do?" "No, buy him some grub, new crepes etc, it's a human being, not a goddamn monkey!" "I dunno, I've sorta asked her out, but I wanna ask someone else out..." -awkward silence- "ANY GUESSES WHO THAT IS?!" -awkward giraffe- “It'll be like an everlasting spaghetti hoop" "Yes I'm expecting to hear how you all get on! I'll probably get Kathleen on the phone...... 'OMG Helen Natalia's just jumped on Miss Crellin, she's attacking her... she's going to kill her!' and you'll hear me screaming go on my daughter get in there kill her!" "LOL. Yeah. Then I'll go and rip up that £500 weed she planted in my turf." -half an hour later- "I still don't get how she spent £500 on a twig and leaf during this economic crisis?" "what is it that you do? snow ploughing? skin swimming?" "er, no dad, SNOW BOARDING. I dont have weird hobbies like those". "it's just ridiculously ridiculous" "..obviously" "i look like a fucking cancer patient right, with a used condom on my head" -AHAHAHAHHAHAHAA for an hour- "fuck them wanking in my milkshake, they put drugs init" "home in 1000 minitss" "Ok, well give me a call in 1000 minutes then.." "KK gimmy 995 minitss" "I FUCKING LOVE COLOURING!!!" "CLANK" "Tell me a bedtime story" "Okay. Once upon a time there was a sun. Hello sun, goodbye sun, the end. Now go to sleep." "What colour was the sun?" "It's yellow" "No its orange" "Hmm no, it's yellow?" "Orange!" "Its yellow! Fuck me what's happened to your eyes?" "I stared at the sun for too long.." "Well, trust me, it's yellow" "....Did it die?" "NO, you press the button on the monitor Miss." "Corr, and WE have to do functional skills." "What's closely related to _______ brain?" "An egg." "Simple things is what my heart beats for." "Really? Mine beats for a euromillion win." "Go away, BLEYY!" "I hate her, I just want to kick her! If she was here right now I'd...well lets face it, it's me I'd do nothing. But I still wanna kick her." "How does the lightbulb light up?" "Get that fat monstrosity out of my house!" "But Dad, there's so much more to her.." "What? There's MORE of her?!" Ahaaaaaaaaaa "BEER SLUT" "So he bring's his new girlfriend in to make me jealous, and this moose with a fat arse mole on her jaw walks in. I just felt big headed. And after getting all cocky I goes to her pointing at her mole, 'What's that then? Is that your little friend that you talk to at night when you're lonely?" LOL "Oooooo... ooo..oo... Oo!" "Allah!" "I am going to get piles my arse is that cold on this step." "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DUDDITS!" "If you could do ANYTHING, in this world, anything at all possible or impossible, what would you do?" "I'd make all the plants grow." "Yeah, she's pregnant." "And I'm the pope" "so what do you know of the immaculate conception?" ""Natalia's fucking lethal. She bites, kicks and scratches. Like a fucking wild animal. And she punches like a man at times too". ""That fucking turns me on". LOL :') "As long as theres fireworks coming out of your breastasists, S'ALL GOOD! Thanks for that message Katy Perry." - Glozell "At James's house, I was like, loading his guns and shooting this pole in his garden, and he just stood there watching.. and slowly raised his phone to his ear saying "Jack... she can use a gun..." Ahahahahaa!" "Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground."- Theodore Roosevelt. "We can complain that rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice that thorn bushes have roses." - Abraham Lincoln. "To stand in silence when they should be protesting makes cowards out of men." - Abraham Lincoln. "Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They're only powerful when you got your back turned." - Eminem. "All I'm trying to do is survive and make good out of the dirty, nasty, unbelievable lifestyle that they gave me." - Tupac Shakur. "I think I'm a natural-born leader. I know how to bow down to authority if it's authority that I respect." - Tupac Shakur. "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." - Mother Teresa. "Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter." - Oscar Wilde. "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." - Oscar Wilde. "One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation." - Oscar Wilde. "Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."- Oscar Wilde. "Why do men love women? Because they draw and paint their faces with the same concentration as Michelangelo working on the Sistine Chapel. And because we came from them, will go back to them, and until that happens, live in orbit around the feminine body and soul. Our lives and our thoughts always revolve around them, their bodies and souls are ever-present in our minds. Their femininity, elegance and strength transport us to another world. A woman's laugh touches our soul as well as seeing tears of happiness or sadness in her eyes. Women are the most beautiful and sublime creations in the universe to a man, and they always will be." - Unknown. “I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” - Pietro Aretino. "The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley. "None but ourselves can free our minds." - Bob Marley. “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou. "Stand by your man. Give him two arms to cling to and something warm to come home to." - Tammy Wynette. “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”- Winston Churchill. "A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman, a woman is lucky if she is the last love of the man." -Charles Dickens

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