Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout, I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about; The Admission is free, so pay at the door, Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor. One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight; Back to back they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other. A blind man came to watch fair play, A mute man came to shout "Horray!" A deaf policeman heard the noise and Came and killed those two dead boys. He lived on the corner in the middle of the block, In a two-story house on a vacant lot; A man with no legs came walking by, and kicked the lawman in his thigh. He crashed through a wall without making a sound, into a dry creek and suddenly drowned; The long black hearse came to cart him away, But he ran for his life and is still gone today. I watched from the corner of the big round table, The only eyewitness to facts of my fable; But if you doubt my lies are true, Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.