"The lesson here is that dreams inevitably lead to hideous implosions" - Ms. Bitters Mitch Hedberg Quotes: "I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly... It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky. I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work.' Pride and Prejudice: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Mr. Darcy: I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand. Elizabeth Bennet: Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done. Mr. Darcy: Is this your reply? Elizabeth Bennet: Yes, sir. Mr. Darcy: Are you... are you laughing at me? Elizabeth Bennet: No. Mr. Darcy: Are you *rejecting* me? Elizabeth Bennet: I'm sure that the feelings which, as you've told me have hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it. Mr. Darcy: Might I ask why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus repulsed? Elizabeth Bennet: And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgment "If it's more red than green it won't make you lean" Rachel, Nora. Things Children Need to Hear: Kid: "Daddy! The fish, I wanna see the fish!" Dad: "The fish HATE you. C'mon!" Mom: "Okay, sweety, don't make me have to beat you in public. . ." Dad: "Hey, wanna ride the escalator?" Kid: "Yeah!" Dad: "Okay! Careful, though. Sometimes escalators KILL small children! Hah! Just kidding!" Mom: "You need to behave, or Mommy will have to give you away."