Helen Chan

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From The Family Guy: Stewie: "It's not even real, I feel like such a fool!" *Drops to the floor bawling* Brian: "You want some ice cream?" Stewie: *Shakes head no* Brian: "You want some McDonald's?" Stewie: *No again* Brian: "You want to take a shit in Mother Maggie's shoes??" Stewie: *Nods* Brian: "Ok, let's go take a shit in Mother Maggie's shoes." From Cheaters: "I bought 5 Hungry Man man!" "There was only 3 Hungry Man man." "She a vegetarian man." "She don't eat no Hungry Man man!" -David White From Will & Grace: Jack: "My boss gave me an old tomato & said I need to have a more professional relationship with Karen or I need to fire her" Will: "An old tomato?" Jack: "Yeah, an old tomato, where you know, you have to do one thing or the other!" Will: "Ohhhhhhh... an old tomato, I usually pronounce it an old toe-mah-to!" “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman “You know that romantic notion that all the garbage and pain is actually really healing, and beautiful, and sort of poetic? It's not, it's just garbage and it's pain. You know what's better? Love. The day that you start thinking that love is overrated is the day that you're wrong. The only thing wrong with love, and faith, and belief is not having it.” - Haley James-Scott [One Tree Hill]

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