Christy Lyn


"You might not remember this, but my button is missing and that is because you took it in your mouth and shook it like a dog. It came off. Those sharp pains in your stomach could be because you ate my button"--Jason to ME. "I almost got my brain screwed out. You might want to get your brains screwed out too." someone who might want to be anonymous "Why would I want that to happen?? Why would someone want to take a screwdriver to your head?!"--me (sober) "There's something in this bowl. This bowl isn't clean."--Adam "It's probably egg."--me "If it's been through the dishwasher, it should be sterile."--Adam "My eggs are sterile!!!"--me "Can you tell me who the President is?" "David Boren! David Boren!"--me trying to check myself out of the hospital. "My boyfriend crawls on the floor"--one of my former suitemates I refer to as anonymous. "Do you mean he walks? I have a hard time picturing a 35 year old crawling on the floor." "Yeah. I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world!" Then, "I think I hallucinated that I smoked pot with J. and D. last night." "Well, that's something you really should try to remember if it was real or not."--me "I think I hallucinated that I was using an umbrella in the shower!" her "Um. No, sorry. The umbrella was really in our shower this morning." "I remember sometimes I have crossed the line though."--friend "Do you mean the time you were giving me a back massage and you spilled apple juice on your crotch?"--me "I think most people know that human-eating plants do not exist."--Erin A. (did I get that one right?) "You almost got the Jack and Coke scholarship?"--James G. to me. No!! The Jack Kent Cooke scholarship!"--me "They won the juice."- English translation of badly pronounced Spanish (said in intermediate Spanish by a Mexican) "Catholics like to moan. Protestants like to breathe. Atheists are good huggers and talkers. And Buddhists are not always celibate."--that one would be from Anonymous "I got Valtrex from the eye doctor for my yeast infection."--a ridiculously stupid liar "I was stalking this guy and...GRRGRRRRRRRRR...GRRRR!!!!!!!!!"--my roommate screaming on the phone @ 12am "If you smoke 2 pots,..." a prof. "They're called 'joints,'" whispered Anthony. "Are you talkin' to me? Don't tell me I forgot to take my WOOOOOOOOOOOL!"--sister sleeptalking "My astigmatism thought your couch was my paper!"--me a little drunk "Happy birthday, Christy" --Aubrey ""Happy birthday!" --me back to Aubrey. "Oops. It's not your birthday. I think I'm a little drunk." "Congratulations, Christy!" Dr. Natale at graduation "Congratulations!" me not drunk Guy lying in bed with me: "You know...aren't you?" Me:" Well, I shave and I wear make-up and I twease my belly button hairs!" "You tongue eating mouth slut

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