'That night in bed I invented a special drain that would be underneath every pillow in new york, and would connect to a reservoir. Whenever people cried themselves to sleep, the tears would all go to the same place, and in the morning the weatherman could report if the water level of the Reservoir if Tears had gone up or down, and you could know if New York was in heavy boots. And when something really terrible happened - like a nuclear bomb, or at least a biological weapon attack - an extremely loud siren could go off, telling everyone to get to Central Park and put sandbags around the reservoir.' - Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. .