"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." -- Mark Twain "A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground." -- Henry Louis Mencken "I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are." -- Milton Berle "Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." -- Larry Lorenzoni "I try to be modest at all times, and that's what makes me better than everyone else." -- Julian Barry "Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend. He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!" -- Po Po: I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on. "There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness!" -- Po Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe. Po: Then I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. It's gonna take a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice. "Just look at her! On legs! On human legs! Oohh, my nerves are shot! This is a catastrophe! What would her father say? I'll tell you what her father'd say. He'd say he's going to kill himself a crab, that's what her father'd say!!! I'm gonna march meself straight home right now and tell him and--don't you shake your head at me, young lady!" -- Sebastian.