Misbah Khaan

Bio

“Boy is he pissed," said Adrian. "Do you blame him?" asked Christian."He just lost memerbship in the evil mastermind club. His brilliant plan fell apart, and now his daughter's missing when he thought she was somewhere safe." Adrian stayed pointedly silent. - Christian Ozera I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you". On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?) On some frozen pizzas: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!) On Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents, if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts after using this product.) On sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On a packet of peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (But no peas?) On an packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.) In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair. -Taylor Swift

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